Cultivating Gravitas
Gravitas is the signal that you are capable, reliable, and calm under pressure. It is the weight you carry in a room.
Pro Tip: The Ego Check
If you walk into a room trying to prove you’re the smartest, you’ve already lost gravitas. Aim to be the most composed, not the loudest.
Confidence vs. Arrogance
“I don’t have that answer right now, but I will get it for you by EOD.”
Pretending to know everything, dismissiveness, or talking over others. This destroys executive presence instantly.
Composure Under Pressure
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🦆The “Duck” Syndrome
Calm and collected above water, paddling furiously below. If you look panicked, your team and clients will mirror that panic.
Example: When a server goes down during a demo, say: “We’re experiencing a technical glitch; let’s pivot to the roadmap while the team resets.”
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⏸️The Strategic Pause
When asked a tough question, pause for 2 full seconds. It demonstrates that you are thinking deeply, not reacting impulsively.
Tip: Breathe through your nose during the pause to lower your heart rate.
Verbal Precision & BLUF
Executives value time above all else. How you structure your message is as important as the message itself.
The “Why” Rule
Never provide a data point without an insight. If revenue is down 5%, don’t just say it—explain what it means for next month’s hiring.
The BLUF Method (Bottom Line Up Front)
Don’t bury the lead. Start with the conclusion, then provide the supporting data.
❌ The Rambler
“Well, looking at Q3 data, and giving the seasonal shift and other factors that we considered in the last meeting, it seems that…”
✅ The Executive
“Revenue is up 10% due to seasonal trends. Here is the three-point breakdown of why.”
Eliminate Fillers
“Um,” “ah,” “like,” “actually.” Silence is more powerful than a filler word.
Tone & Volume
A lower pitch commands authority. Speak slightly slower than you think you should.
The Unspoken Signal
Eye Contact
Look at everyone in the room, not just the decision-maker. 50-70% eye contact signals honesty, confidence, and inclusion.
DO: Hold contact for 3-5 seconds per person. DON’T: Stare aggressively without blinking.
Power Pose
Take up space. Arms uncrossed. Hands visible above the table. Shoulders back and open signals you are receptive and in control.
Tip: Keep your elbows slightly away from your ribs to appear more expansive and confident.
Radical Stillness
Fidgeting leaks power. Clicking pens, shaking legs, or touching your face signals nervousness. Practice physical stillness.
DON’T: Swivel your chair or lean on your hand during someone else’s presentation.
The Active Listening Signal
“So, what I’m hearing is that your main concern is the timeline, rather than the budget. Is that an accurate summary?”
Owning the Room
Your presence begins before the meeting starts and lingers after it ends.
Choose your seat strategically. Welcome others as they enter. Be the host of the meeting, even if you aren’t the organizer.
Tip: If you’re a junior, sit at the table, not the perimeter. Sitting on the “outer ring” signals you’re just an observer.
Aim to speak in the first 5 minutes. Even a supportive comment establishes your presence and value early in the discussion.
Example: “I agree with Jane’s point on the logistics. I’ve also noticed a similar trend in our shipping data.”
Never apologize for your opinion. Eliminate phrases like “This might be a stupid idea…” or “I’m just thinking out loud…”
DO: Use “In my experience…” or “My recommendation is…” instead.
Strategic Storytelling (STAR)
Data informs, but stories compel. Use this framework for every high-stakes answer.
Situation
Provide the context or background clearly and briefly.
Task
Describe the specific challenge or goal you faced.
Action
Explain exactly what you did to address it.
Result
The final outcome, preferably quantified with a metric or positive impact.
Tip: Always end on the ‘R’. Don’t trail off with “So… yeah, that happened.”
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
High EQ is the safety net of executive presence. It prevents you from misreading the room and losing your hard-earned authority.
Empathy & Reading the Room
Presence is a two-way street. If the room feels restless, adapt. If the client looks confused, clarify. Be present with others, not just with yourself.
Self-Regulation
Never let immediate frustration show. An emotional outburst can erase years of professional respect in seconds. Respond, don’t react.
The Daily Presence Workout
Voice Lab
Record & Review
Explain a complex concept in 2 minutes on your phone. Listen for fillers and speed.
Tip: Try to remove just 5 “ums” next time.
Body Lab
The 2-Min Power Pose
Stand wide and open for 2 minutes before any high-stakes meeting to lower cortisol levels.
Fact: High testosterone + low cortisol = the “Executive Profile”.
Mind Lab
Intellectual Prep
Read one industry news article daily to build informed, high-level perspectives for small talk.
DO: Use this during the “pre-meeting” minutes for high-level small talk.
Growth Lab
Targeted Feedback
Ask a trusted mentor: “What is one specific thing I do that undermines my authority?”
Tip: Be prepared for the answer. Don’t defend yourself—just listen.
Immediate Quick Wins
The BLUF Email
In your next email, put your primary request or conclusion in the very first sentence.
Hands on Table
In your next meeting, keep both hands visible on the table and perfectly still.
The 2-Second Count
Force a mental “one, two” count before responding to any question asked of you.